re: a letter around anger and bravery
dear zach:
love, thank you for your letter to me. in these last few weeks, i have found that having these open conversations about our bodies and our experiences with authority and capitalist industrial complexes [systems of prisons, schools, non-profit organizations that are about making money] have been completely liberating in how i view myself and how i am able to interact with others. i love you and am so thankful for your words, your honesty about wrestling with everything, your power.
i feel like talking about our bodies is what made intersectionality “real” for me (more…)
Add comment August 2, 2008
awesome linkage: ENOUGH
one small piece of the new website ENOUGH:
You MUST check this website out!!
2 comments August 2, 2008
exploding
this is just a draft of something i was writing while on the airplane today
i explode
with surprise
and disbelieving laughter
when the guy behind the fastfood counter says to my friend
“you are keeping her out of trouble, right?”
my friend is not sure what he should say when the man continues
“she likes to get wild on the weekend right?”
“i can tell by her face.”
writing his words on paper makes them sound sarcastic
but i left the conversation wishing i had chosen a different outfit.
the next night,
i explode with fear
the same friend and i are walking the same street
when a man i do not know makes eye contact, smirks,
and makes a real effort to walk across the sidewalk and bump into my chair
he continues walking but i feel his eyes still on me and hear his feet stopping
quickly i tell my friend we have to leave and he listens without asking questions
again i am left wishing i had chosen different outfit
i have known the fickle nature of both extreme invisibility
and visibility
of always being on, of not being able to make a mistake
while simultaneously not being seen, cut in lines and forgotten
so where does this leave me you ask?
today— just wishing i had chosen a different outfit
4 comments July 25, 2008
angry beyond words
i’m angry. i’m resentful. i don’t know where to begin.
a best friend and i just had a really deep conversation about how private i am about my sex/relationship life. i am unable to allow anyone to get close to me in that way. learning about doctors as a for-profit industry [medical industrial complex] has equipped me with the tools to describe my anger in words.
i am ANGRY that i have never felt ownership of my body in the last 20 years.
i RESENT the fact that the only way i can own my body is to stay away from doctors and people. to stay away and never let anyone near. this has been very detrimental in my physical health and emotional relationships that require physical closeness.
i am forever SCARRED by movies, news stories, authorities, religion, and people who have told me that my existence as a disabled person, a woman of color, as a queer person, as a queer disabled woman of color is reprehensible [to be blamed] and ugly.
i am FRUSTERATED that a life of surgeries, biopsies [tests], physical therapy, and appointments with every specialist has left me feeling like i have lost parts of me for some unknown quest to be normal (that was not even wanted or requested by me).
i can’t believe that all these years later it is leaving such a real big imprint on my life and how i interact with people. i hate this. i hate them. and at this point, i don’t even have the energy to hate right now.
where the hell does this leave me? how do i claim my body as my own? does anyone know? (more…)
39 comments July 7, 2008
Just your everyday queer disabled Corean girl living in the South... I admit to being a 
