With exception to political/advocacy meetings, an occasional noon movie, and coffee with friends, I don’t go out that much. I’m very much a homebody and I’m comfortable staying in.
Today I went to the movies and was amazed at the crowds. In these crowds I saw young people with amputations, wheelchairs, and other mobility devices again and again. People with physical disabilities were everywhere (I can’t even imagine all the other disabilities people probably had.) At first it didn’t hit me, but after the fourth or fifth crip, I realized these were all soldiers who had come back from Iraq over the last two months.
Growing up as an “army brat”, celebrating July 4th was always a big deal for my community (especially since I lived on this base for 18 years, very rare). During the 4th of July week, everyone wore red, white and blue, soldiers were given a break, and we did fun crafts at school. The week was sealed off with a huge festival with big time country music singers, carnival rides, cotton candy, and the biggest firework display you could ever imagine. The celebration crowd chanted about all the silly leftist anti-war people and talked about how they weren’t supporting the troops. People left energized about winning the “war on terrorism”. People left believing the US was perfect, which eventually led to things like hating immigrants and people who do not “appreciate American generosity” or “use what they’ve been given”.
Most times Halmoni and my mom stay(ed) at home and my family would say jokes like “oh you shouldn’t have a green card if you don’t do fireworks!” Even though I didn’t get why they stayed home before, I’m appreciative for this now. I know my grandma and mom do not stay home for political reasons—more of not connecting with the holiday or feeling like it’s theirs, although my mom is very patriotic— but I’m glad to not be the only one who stays home nowdays.
A brillant friend suggested on her blog that we should transform Independence Day into a holiday that celebrates freedom fighters like Justin Dart, Cesar Chavez, Malcolm X, Dr. King, and the many others. I’m definitely down for this…
July 5, 2008
i spent tonight writing my first zine and planning out how i am going to print it while being anonymous and needing assistance from a PA in printing it?…and how to make it accessible? and and and… anyways. i wrote this poem for my zine (i’m so freaking energized and inspired from the AMC! can’t wait to tell yall more about this zine and a video project i am planning…)
she takes one step forward
losing footing, another one back
that’s 14 fucking years of physical therapy
in those stupid little backward forward steps
hey girl, stop for a second
stand a moment
shift your weight around a bit
figure out which way you want to go, i’ll hold you
sometimes you have to lean on another person
or sit down
take a rest, it’s okay
the journey can be long for tired feet
remember that the journey can be adapted
changed
altered
a new plan can be created if you let it, one that can be liberating and free
life doesn’t always have to be about moving forward
making connections
achieving big goals, like climbing up those steps
life is standing still and a quest to find balance
maybe I did get something out of PT afterall
June 30, 2008
Gaydar—
When does this function begin to work?
Is there a help number
I can call?
Hi, Hello.
Yes, the gaydar you gave me just won’t turn on.
Yes, I read the instructions.
I have my queer proof of purchase right here,
Can I get a replacement?
Is immersing myself in queer culture required to getting this thing up and running?
After my sister graduates, she’s going to my aunt’s place in Seoul
There she’ll learn the gayageum and brush up on her Corean,
Maybe that’s what I need to do?
Assimilate myself in all-queer surroundings
Get the language down right…
If there is a password, just tell me
Maybe I can guess
“loveLorde”?
“heternomativity”?
“ENDAtransexclusiontheHRCdoesntspeakforme”?
Or is it that I’m so used to being stared at,
So used to everyone watching my every move,
That I’ve drowned all you out?
Ah yes maybe I’ve missed step one—
direct your eyes towards the subject.
June 16, 2008
I’m 48 minutes early but happy birthday Nadia!! I am constantly amazed w/ your raw honesty, your zine, your blog, your activism, and your passion for media justice. Keep doing what you do, Nadia, you are shaping the world into a better place.
And Lex! Happy belated birthday! Your love, your questions, your vision brings a new kind of hope. I am glad to know you and call you my sister.
I love you both and am thankful for, your warmth, your friendship, and everything I’ve learned from you both… Happy birthday! See you in DETROIT! <3
i fell into a numbness
til the only tree i cd see
took me up in her branches
held me in the breeze
made me dawn dew
that chill at daybreak
- ntozake shange, for colored girls…
(okay is that not appropriate for a birthday? hmm. it’s beautiful though and everything yall mean to me *grin*)
June 13, 2008
Just your everyday queer disabled Corean girl living in the South... I admit to being a 
